


Little Red Riding Hoody

by shadynaiad



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Fairy Tales, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-19
Updated: 2011-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:05:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadynaiad/pseuds/shadynaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, there was a Danny and a wolf...or was that a Steve?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Red Riding Hoody

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://nienna-helyanwe.livejournal.com/profile)[**nienna_helyanwe**](http://nienna-helyanwe.livejournal.com/)'s prompt at [](http://community.livejournal.com/h50_bunny/profile)[**h50_bunny**](http://community.livejournal.com/h50_bunny/). Thanks and more thanks to [](http://shinysylver.livejournal.com/profile)[**shinysylver**](http://shinysylver.livejournal.com/) for pointing out [the prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/h50_bunny/2846.html) to to me, ~~forcing~~ encouraging me to write it, fixing the middle, and fixing the end, including that one really fabulous canines line.

Once upon a time, in New Jersey, there lived a man named Danny. Danny found himself wandering through the woods with a basket. He was confused.

"Seriously, why would I go through the woods with a basket? Why is my granny in the middle of the woods? Jersey ain't the middle of the woods, babe."

“Who are you calling babe?” asked a tree.

Danny stopped skipping. Of course, Danny had never been skipping in the first place, but if this were a proper fairy tale, and if Danny had instead been a little girl in a red hooded cape, he would have.

Instead, Danny reached for his gun, which bewilderingly wasn’t there. He fumbled through his pockets, even the kangaroo pouch of his Rutgers’ hoody.

“Who’s there?” he settled for yelling at the tree. A wolf sauntered out from behind the tree.

“Just me, babe,” said the wolf, and Danny wondered why the wolf sounded so much like Steve. “What’s in the basket?” asked the wolf, prowling closer.

“Lasagna and malasadas,” Danny answered, questioning the wisdom of this discussion. “For my granny”, Danny paused for a moment. Hadn’t he gone to her funeral? He shook his head. Of course not.

“I think you should bring her some flowers, too,” the wolf practically purred at him.

Danny thought that was a bad idea. This was starting to seem familiar, somehow, and he thought he remembered discussing something like this with Grace. If little girls shouldn’t talk to wolves, then maybe he shouldn’t either. Besides, the wolf was already leaving, heading towards Granny’s house.

That probably wasn’t good either. Danny dashed away from the wolf, barreling the short distance to his grandmother’s house, passing the wolf, and barring the door. He turned to see a figure curled up on a bed in the living room. His poor grandmother, she’d been so sick. But he didn’t remember her having such big feet. Or such big hands. Or such a big.....

"Steve, why are you in my granny's nightgown? You think I don't know what my granny looks like? You are one sick puppy” .

“Your granny went to run errands. She’ll be back in a bit.”

“That doesn’t explain the random geriatric cross-dressing on your part. “

“Oh, come on,” growled Steve, sounding more and more like the wolf, as he reached for Danny’s shoulder, “it’s nice. It’s silk, you know”.

Danny closed his eyes, putting a hand to his forehead. This was weird, even for Steve, and it was giving him a headache.

“Steve, you need help. You still got that card I gave you?” he opened his eyes to give Steve a look, just in time to see the wolf coil and spring for his throat.

He felt himself falling, and jolted when he hit the ground. His eyes flew open, staring at the cracked ceiling of his bedroom.

“What the hell?” he asked as he slammed his alarm clock off. “What the hell?”

“What’s your problem?” Steve asked walking out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand.

“I had the weirdest dream.” Danny said looking suspiciously at Steve’s feet and teeth trying to see any trace of the wolf. “And you were in it.”

“Oh, really?” Steve leered smugly, his canines glinting disturbingly in the morning light.

“Dude, no. Not ‘oh, really’. You were my grandma.” Danny said in a bewildered voice.

Steve was quiet for a moment, then pulled out his wallet and handed a card over.

Danny looked at the card. “Dr. Nui Hae, Psychologist....I gave you this card!”

“You need it more than I do.” Steve said shaking his head.

“I gotta stop reading Grace fairy tales before bed.” Danny muttered to himself once had Steve left the room.


End file.
